I saw you in the grass today.
I held Elijah in my arms while he nursed. I was irriated for the length of time it was taking to get out the door. Rushing to get everything in order and get Noah to daycare on time.
But everything stays still–I'm forced to stay still–when I have to nurse. And while I did, you showed yourself to me.
I looked out the window to see the sun drafting shadows on the grass. And there, underneath the tree that divides our yard from our neighbors, your face looked at me.
It was the closest I've come to seeing you again without dreaming.
I was afraid to look away to never find your face again. I asked you what I could learn from this moment. You didn't answer then. But while I was driving Noah to daycare, you did.
You said to focus on bravery. To use your experiences to teach about bravery. To use other's experiences too. To share your story through my eyes. To find the wisdom through the heartbreak. To find the beauty in the brokenness. And to shine light in the dark.
I'm always, and still, inspired by you, mom. Thank you for showing me the way.